Friday, June 7, 2013

Missing Out

I have thought a lot about "missing out" lately. I think I have finally figured it out.

We don't ever feel we are missing out until someone or something else points it out.

If cultural norms say you should be here or do that. We feel we are missing out if we don't.

If someone says, "Oh! You should have been there or done that! It was amazing!" "You can't miss that, it's too important." "You need to be here in order to ..." We definitely feel our life can't possibly be complete without it. Whatever "it" is.

What if we each have our own things to do and experience. What if there really is something to the idea that you can't do everything or be everywhere and we are each unique individuals with paths that are unique to our needs.

What if my life looks very different from most people I know. And oftentimes people, who mean well, are desperately trying to make my life fit what makes sense for them.

What if it is fabulously fine to have a different life. But, what if I spend a solid amount of time trying to convince myself of the fabulous in fabulously fine. I have learned a lot about "helping" and "meaning well". Hmmm.

I sincerely appreciate the efforts of those that mean well in my life. It does cause a great deal of internal strife for me though. I have gotten a lot better at asking for what is needed and smiling and saying "no thank you" a lot of the time.

Why is it that I can't internalize the smile that accompanies the "no thank you"? Why is it that I spend so much time second guessing?

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