Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Cultural Pressure

What do you do when you are part of a large group that says at a certain age your children are supposed to do certain things and there seems to be little acceptance/tolerance for variance?

What if the subgroup of which you belong does not have such a stellar "program" to "move on" to and you feel its not the best fit for your child?

What if you are weary due to growing pains, of this same nature, for the past few years and you feel done offering your child as a guinea pig?

What if?

There seems to be little room (if any) for individuality within the confines of group culture. I am not finding it simple to encourage authenticity and individuality with the ever looming shoulds, peer pressure, and accusations of passing judgement on others, because something might not be a fit, at the current time, for my child.

I don't want to upset friends. I don't want to be seen as the incessant squeaky wheel. I don't want to offend anyone or claim to be making a declaration for the entire group. I do want to do what is best for my child.

He sees incongruence between what the program and its leaders profess it to be and what it actually is. The current program is devoid of all but entertainment. The world runs amok with entertainment. He is looking for substance and meaning in everything around him.

There is also concern that another endeavor, more worthy of his time, and individually, as well as socially, satisfying, will be slighted due to time commitment and conflicting schedules. The more he is desensitized by wasting his time being entertained, the more he begins to feel as though what he desires is unattainable. Mediocrity is popular and the comfort of it can be addictive. Not a message I want to perpetuate in my children's lives.

I suppose the more important question is; when and how, as a mother, do I separate myself from my own insecurities long enough to make a decision best for my child. A decision that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with encouraging him on a path that is best for him.

I am having a difficult time navigating the waters of social non-acceptance in relation to motherhood. I am at a loss as to how to encourage individuality within this particular group.

I've got nothin'.

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